REGRETS..

When i was in my fourth year high school, my English teacher had read us a story about a certain guy who had never told the girl he loved what he feels, he let time passed by not telling the girl until they separated ways..they met again and that time he told himself he will tell her how much he loves her but was too late, the girl was already married to another guy. He was full of regrets,even more when he learns that the girl loved him ever since but she got tired of waiting for she don't know if the guy loves her also... This story stir something in me...pity,desperation and regrets came rushing to me. I cant help to blame the guy..I can feel the regrets that he was feeling...Then realization comes in, that even I have regrets in my life.. i think of all the things that i should have done that I wasn't able to do because i don't have the courage to say or do. I think also the things that I should never done but I do because i don't think twice if is it good or bad for me.

I've experienced so many regrets in my life. Some are hard to accept, some I just don't pay too much attention.I've hard time fighting my regrets but I cant win over it. It just makes me realized how stupid I am not to do such things and not thinking the consequences or the risk.I blame other people for my mistakes but I was wrong, I was the only one to blame for it was my choice, it was my decision.

There is one thing I regret so much in my life...It is not showing how much I loved a person because I was not sure of my feelings for him at first. He puts a lot of effort in our relationship but I just don't reciprocate it in the same thing as he does, its not because I can't appreciate it but I was just afraid or too coward to express myself for I was not so sure about my feelings. He treat me so special that no one had done for me..and I love it and time passed by the uncertainty of my feelings are becoming to clear for me.i realized that i really loved him ever since for he was the only one who treated me so special,and I also realized that I never loved anyone like the way I loved him...But I guess I was too late..He got tired or maybe he just realized that its never gonna work out...I can't blame him for that, it was my fault in the first place... now i have to accept the fact that we're through...I tell myself to stop hoping that maybe all will be back like it was before..it will just hurt me even more if I still believe that there's still chance..

Acceptance is even more harder than realization. Its hard for me to accept it, because the hurt and the pain just keep pestering my heart.. I have so many questions that I can be the only one to answer..I can be the only one to blame and I said to myself that I'm so stupid to let go of him..But what can I do?..I can't turn back the time how much I wanted to, maybe i will just move on no matter how hard it is...

Regrets taught me that if I can do something I want, I should do it till I can, for I can never do it again...Say what my heart want to say, follow it and never be afraid...

I guess the next time, I would do the right thing...to never feel regrets again.

Lovers cant be friends??

Friends can be lovers but lovers can’t be friends?

Sometimes love grows from friendship, it is when two people had found to each other the friendship they need. They share each others problems, dreams and interest, helping each other in times of trials and problems and make teach other to laugh or smile. Until time passed by they realized that what they feel isn’t friendship anymore. They decided to put their friendship to the next level. They became lovers. But some things didn’t work quite well. They decided to end it up. Now the question is will they go back from being friends again or will they forget each other completely?

They say: friends can be lovers, but lovers can’t be friends? Some other say “why cant they be?” its really hard to decide whether they cant or they can be but I think its really on the personal choice of the person, will he/she still be a friend or will just let go.?

If you will ask me on what will I chose, I would choose to still be a friend for the person I love. You can call me crazy or stupid but I have my reasons. You might ask me “why?” the answer is simple it is because I love him! Whether I love him as a friend or I love him differently it all comes back to that simple answer. Maybe it has no sense at all but for me it has, for friendship is a special kind of love.

You might think that I’m finding it as easy as ABC but its not. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress just thinking what I will do, will I still be a friend for him or I should forget him. Whatever choice I will make have a consequence, if I choose to be a friend for him, I will only be hurt and continually waiting and hoping but if I choose to let go or forget him, am I ready to bear the pain of not seeing him? Both decisions and choices will just only end up with me being hurt, but I realized that I’m so selfish to think o only of my self and not to think of what will he feels. What if he still needs me as a friend, will I turn my back on him? So I decided that, ok we will go back being friends again and it means I will be hurt but I said to my self it will fade away. I also said to my self that true friends never leave each other side. You can call me a fool but if I’m going to call myself, I’m just a friend. You might question me why do I choose it? Its because I love him and love doesn’t require to much answers you just love no matter how stupid you become, quite unfair but life is unfair love is unfair, we cant make it fair how much we wanted to, so just lived the unfair reality.

I also understand those people who would rather choose to totally forget the person they loved because that person may even hurt them more. Some relations doesn’t end well, and its getting hard for them to be friends again especially when they’ve experienced so much pain when they still together. There are people who just don’t want to hope and be continuously hurt so they just turn their back and let go.

Therefore, it is on our own hands to decide and whether decision we make, we should be ready for the consequences and we should never had regrets. Choose what will make you happy. Just listen to what you’re heart saying, and everything will fall to its proper place.

Im Still Here

I wish you were here holding me close to you
Whispering those words" I Love You"
But you're not here like you were before
No words of love to hear can't smile anymore

I feel stupid,i feel so dumb
I wish i don't feel it, i wish I was numb
Im confused, Im scared
Coz it seems like you just don't care

I don't expect it will turn out this way
You said goodbye and I said stay
But don't you worry,I'll accept the fact
Even if it hurts and my heart is crashed

I hate myself coz I can't hate you
Blaming my heart for loving you
But I want you to know, I don't have regrets
Coz what we've shared I can't forget

Now Im putting my heart back together
So I can finally say its over
But i can't seem to find the missing piece
So if you have seen it, please give it back to me.

Just For You

You came to me without a warning
The day you came my heart is aching
Have I done something good in my life
For god to gave me such man to like

You make me laugh when I was crying
You make my tears stop from crying
You taught my heart to love again
You make it easy to forget the pain

You always have sweet words to say
The reason why Im happy everyday
You love me with all of your heart
And I wish you will never get tired

There are times when I thought I lost you
Feeling im always too far from you
But you are with me along guiding my step

You are all that I am and I never forget

You believe in everything that I do
You stay with me through and through
You held my hand and showed me the way
In your heart there i will stay.

Give me a break!

Why there are people who are fond of seeing the mistakes of other people yet they dont see their own mistakes? Why there are people who easily judge people and not trying to listen to the reasons and keeping their minds shut and believe only to what they know? Why there is discrimination among people when all of us is just equal ? Why there are lot of people dont know how to show respect each others identity and the way they want to live ther life? So many questions it seems but there are no exact answers.
You might wonder why i keep on asking these questions, the reason is that what my friends and me myself are facing right now...it seems that respect and acceptance is really hard to get..
im a chubby girl and i admit that im a bit bigger than any girl but it really doesn't matter as long as i had my confidence and my friends who accept me for who i really am but it seems that there are people who are just fond of critisizing other people. Im not saying that im not open to those comments but im not foolish not to know that they only said those things to make fun of me and ashamed me in front of other people, they say those things not to encourage me to make myself better but only to make me feel worst of myself and be insecure. To be honest these people really stir the insecurities out of me and they make my confidence level low, but i realized why sholud i keep on listening and be affected to what they are saying, every person has their own identity and it should be respected.it is only in my own hands how to improve myself and noone can dictate what should i do especially if they dont have the right.They are saying that they are only being frank..but frankness is not a license to say whatever you want, whenever you want, and wherever you want, it is only their excused to make fun of other people and proved to that person that he/she is much better.Yes, it is their right to say whatever they want but if they will only say foolish things better not to say it at all because people dont give a damn of what they are saying, it will just make them stupid.
If you will ask me if i had plans of improving myself...yes, i have plans but i dont take it so fast..its really pressuring me whenever they are saying you should do this and you should do that...give me break!..its not that easy, its quite hard for me ok.. so show a liitle respect ok..

Note: This for some people out there who really hate me eventhoughthey dont know me...I dont generalize because there are also some of my friends who are telling me to improve myself and its ok for me because I know that their intentions are good and for the better